So this is pretty much an update on my Gran...She was supposed to have surgery for the mass in her throat tomorrow but has taken a turn for the worse today. I spoke with my grandfather and the doctors think she has had a stroke. I spoke with her but her speech is just below comprehension. My grandfather said that he has to carry her everywhere because she can't walk at all.

I'm not doing that great going back and forth between bouts of anger and sadness. Fighting with myself about whether I should head back home or not. I want to stay optomistic but know all too well the other side of the coin.

I can't figure out why doctors sent her home. I'm not a doctor but I do have a degree in nursing and know the symptoms of a stroke when I see one. Her weakness along with the difficulty in swallowing even water make for a combination that is almost certainly something that needs to be attended to more than what my grandfather is capable of. I've never heard of a hospital that sees the signs of a stroke and just sends someone home. They did an MRI and a doppler but had no radiologist there to read them. In the meantime let my grandmother possibly expire at home while we wait. I don't understand why a hospital does not see it as a liability to provide inadequate care. If you cannot treat a problem accept that fact and transfer them to somewhere that can. And people wonder why I left the medical profession after seven years...Money means nothing if you cannot provide the level of care you believe your patients deserve.

Sorry for my venting rampage...I'm so tired, so angry, so scared it isn't even funny...I'll keep you guys updated. Keep praying please...If God can't help her I'm not sure who will...